Think about a toddler trying to get dressed by herself. She is taking care of her need to be independent and to learn how to put clothes on. What does it "say" when we do it for her because we are in a hurry? Where's the respect there? Is she "deciding" that our needs are more important than hers or, worse yet, that she needs to take care of our needs first?
What would it mean if we looked at the things children do that push our buttons as them trying to meet their own needs, not interfere with ours? We should concentrate on meeting our own needs, not thwarting those of our children. We must be models of respectful behavior; this is an essential way for children to know how right this is. Children seem to intrinsically respect themselves; let's be sure we're not "helping" them forsake this wonderful quality.